I grow old, I grow old. . .

The Dentist.

2006-11-02T09:39:01Z

Because Taiwan has National Healthcare, I decided that I should probably get my teeth cleaned before coming home so I wouldn't have to spend 80.00 for them to polish my teeth.

I put off going because I was afraid that they wouldn't be able to speak English. After wasting a bunch of time today, I announced to everyone in the living room that 'I am going to go to the dentist now.' They didn't really seem too interested.

So I went and got right it. The whole thing took about a half an hour and only cost me $4.00 US. The doctor told me that I had very good oral hygiene and a little something. "Oral hygiene" I understood, but the other thing I had, I did not. I asked him to repeat three times and simply gave up after the third try. It sounded something like "callous" or "build up" or something that might be life-threatening.

When I went to pay, the secretary was alll smiles and she also complimented me on my fine oral hygiene. When I got home, I celebrated my file oral hygiene with 13 milk chocolate kisses.

More Moon Festival Pictures from Josh's camera

2006-10-31T18:15:41Z

Me, Jake, Tom and Carson

Jake: Eating a Goose Egg that has been boiled in tea and rubberized

Josh and Me

Always time for a westside flash

Young Lovaz

Jake and me resting in some pagoda

Juan Carlos, there you are!!!!!

2006-10-15T04:48:07Z

"In my life I've seen many pets-that-look-like-fascist-dictators homepages, but your's beats them all by far."
- Juan Carlos

http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/

Road Trip on Mopeds: Sun Moon Lake and Torocco Gorge

2006-10-09T18:42:32Z

Exactly:

2006-10-03T19:08:40Z

October 1st, 2006

2006-10-01T15:00:41Z

Jake:

A Witch we found in the Mountains:

Josh:

New:

2006-09-26T15:27:31Z

A nervous sort of giddiness filled the empty margins of space between the boys that day. They were drunk on it and struggled to conceal it from their teachers for the remainder of the four periods at St. Mary’s Preparatory Academy. In fact, the buzz of their scheme excited them so much that they all agreed, even though no words had been exchanged outside the group, that some of the faculty knew.

They especially feared the ever-watchful eye of Father Ron—a priest of the most grave and saintly sort. Undisputedly, the boys agreed that Jesus appeared in person to Father Ron. They believed that this happened in his office when he took lunch alone or after school when no one was around to witness it. There was no other way to account for the Father’s cunning sense of misconduct or unruliness in the ranks of students. He knew children were cheating before even they themselves knew they were cheating. Either he could read minds or he did, in fact, have lunch with Jesus.

Incidentally, social mores had not yet been established between the boys. Abstract concepts, adult ideas such as refined taste—perhaps for a good opera or wine, good women or wealth were still far off and very much a mystery. Although there was rank between the three of them, it was childish because they too were childish. Their roles within the group rested upon concepts they were familiar with: age, courage and talent. Or perhaps good looks or the extent to which they dared use bold offensive language—something that was not to be tolerated in a fine Christian institution like St. Mary’s.

breathable air: an hour and a half outside of Taoyuan.

2006-09-24T14:23:56Z

alfredprufrockj @ 2006-09-24T03:12:00

2006-09-23T19:54:13Z

I just pulled up the currency converter and found out that I've been walking around with $546.00 USD in the old wallet.

Tonight was probably the strangest night I've experienced in Taiwan--maybe in my life.
After Carson and I returned from seeing The Black Dalia--which was sweet--we went up
to Tiger head Mountain. I was going to sit this one out, but decided to go at the last minute.
I think there were about 8 of us that went. On the weekends and very late at night, Tiger head turns into a makeout
hangout for younger kids. It has a Hollywood overlook feel going for it--you know, the kinds you
see in the movies where all the cars are parked in a neat row and everyone's fogging up the
windows.

We just walked around and were bullshitting with each other. Somehow Josh attracted the attention
of 3 Taiwanese guys. One of them had beatle nut juice smeared all over his face and shirt. His teeth
were completely saturated in the junk. One of the other guys was a police officer. He's been patrolling
the same single street for 15 years. Anyway, they sort of lingered around us, then they'd wander off for a while
and ask us where we were from and where we lived again. Then they'd wander off again and so on and so forth.
After a while, they went away and came back with a bag full Taiwan Beer and handed them out.

We stood around for a while and then some guy started shooting fireworks off right next to us.
I mean, right next to us. 20 feet away, maybe. (Why fireworks?)

After a while, the guys wanted us to follow them to the Karaoke Tent and we agreed.

I've heard stories from people that I live with about "friendly people." They'll befriend you and start handing out drinks and food
and then slap down a bill when you try to leave. I guess I might be too tired to really
explain the night and do it justice, but I came to the conclusion that all of the guys were
gay and might have been looking to score some action. Maybe not though.
One seemed to have it out for Carson and the other, the brother of the police office, seemed
to take to Josh. He was holding his hand--but not just holding it. I'm talking about fingers being
laced together. The look on Josh's face was really priceless.

They brought over all these hotdogs that looked like intestines on paper plates. I told the
guy I didn't eat meat, "Boo yow row," but he just held the stick of hotdog in front of me like I was crazy.
When he figured it out, he handed me a clove of garlic and was trying to get me to eat that. Meanwhile, there were 2 other tables of Taiwanese
singing awful Chinese karaoke music. Everyone was telling me to pretend to eat the clove of garlic so that I
wouldn't offend them and I nearly did out of peer pressure. But let's face it, we're not in kindy class. You're not
going to fool someone by pretending to eat something. So yeah, I took the clove and put it in my breast pocket
and told them I'd take it for the road. Dash it, man, I'm not going to eat a clove of garlic for any reason--especially
so's not to offend a guy with beatle nut juice smeared on his face.

It could be my paranoia, but the whole event was just getting too surreal for me, so I decided to split.
They seemed very offended that I was leaving and refused to shake my hand. After a while, the guy
laughed and finally shook it.

I think that truly explaining this might require some sleep. Just think of Blue Velvet. I don't know why
Blue Velvet, but just think about it and you'll know.

Page 1 of my short story:

2006-09-11T09:39:38Z

Back then I’d become accustomed to sitting, smoking unfiltered Camels in the dim light of my bedroom and doing very little to be productive. I’d try to find new images on the cigarette packaging or count the pyramids over and over to see if they’d built a new one yet. If you look closely, you can actually see a guy pissing out of the camel’s thigh. It’s wasn't very interesting then and I suppose it wouldn't be very interesting now, but that’s what I did.

The pyramids always made me think of that movie with Charlton Heston, The Ten Commandments. My Dad talked about that movie a lot. He saw it 14 different times while he was stationed in Germany. He said he spent every free moment he got hiding out in that theatre. If they caught you hanging around your bunk just reading a science fiction book or staring at the lemon-colored stains on the upper mattress, they’d make you do KP Duty or polish the Sergeant’s ass with a toothbrush.

What I’d think about in that movie was the part where the Israelites were making bricks for the Egyptians. They’d have to stamp and stamp and stamp all day. The guards would shout, “Dance, old man,” and the men would plunge their pruned feet through straw and gobs of mud as though they were pressing a fine wine. I tried imagining that squishy, Vaseline-like feeling of mud between my toes. It made my spine curl. When the old men got too tired to stamp, they’d be whipped and when they got too tired to be whipped, they’d just lie down and die. I suppose that when they died, they’d just make bricks out of them too.

laughs and laughs and laughs

2006-09-11T04:46:48Z

I just opened my livejournal to type something and was given the option to "restore" something that was suddenly closed.
This was it:

"right now i am actually contemplating dumping myself over this ledge"

alfredprufrockj @ 2006-09-09T18:31:00

2006-09-09T10:33:44Z

alfredprufrockj @ 2006-08-24T02:39:00

2006-08-23T18:40:25Z

Sometimes you get lucky and there are a few kids that just touch you; you really fall in love with them. There's this little kid, Ray--what a great little guy. If nothing else, it was worth coming to Taiwan for Ray. He couldn't be more than 8 years old, but his command of the language is astonishing. We were talking about Abraham Lincoln, so I fished out a 5-dollar bill from my wallet for everyone to see what he looked like. I asked everyone what they thought he looked like and most people yelled, "Ugly." Not Ray; he yelled, "Ugly, disgusting, egocentric," and "maniac," all in a row. I was floored. I asked him where he learned all these great adjectives and he cooly replied, "My grandfather." Then he told me how the president of Taiwan was "corrupt." The word "President" was written on the board. I wrote "Ray" with an arrow pointing to "President" and declared him the future of Taiwan. HAHA, where did this kid come from? I want to take him back home and he can live with me and Gus.

Jake's Teeth

2006-08-20T08:29:03Z

Our internet is bullocks, so I have been without for a couple days.
On the way home from the Internet cafe, Carson and I saw Jake sitting
with our neighbors in front of their dry-cleaners building. They were all
drinking Taiwan beer out of plastic dixie cups and invited us to sit with them
at their make-shift table and drink with them. There were about 4 men and a
younger gal. Jake speaks decent Chinese, so he was getting in on their small
talk and translating for Carson and me when he could. Then the guys broke out
Beadle nuts--comparable to chewing tobacco, but perhaps more stimulating and
more--well, red. I declined at first, but after Jake took one and I saw him spit
like a pro, I had to take one for myself. They taste like shit, but give you the whole
Western-cowboy complex, something I'm not ashamed to admit I'm down with.
Jake was unabashedly flashing his stained teeth until the time we left; I couldn't
resist taking a photo of them.

I painted quite a portrait on the sidewalk with my red ass spittle.
Anyway, Carson and I both agree that Jake not only looks but reminds
us very much of Tyson. Judge for yourself--minus the red teeth, of course.

My fine honeycomb.

2006-08-13T18:00:19Z

alfredprufrockj @ 2006-08-11T02:24:00

2006-08-10T18:24:15Z

Carson and I find our own ways to rebel against Taiwan--really, just Gloria English School and insipid
roomates who do hash every night and eat my ice cream sandwiches without asking.
We bought some instant Maxwell House and have been going out onto the back balcony where noone
hangs out. We've been dangling our legs over the side up on the fifth floor, smoking, and talking trash about
basically everyone we live with like real assholes. Carson was like, "I fuckin' hate hippies." Ten seconds later, "So and so's a real bitch because..." He rattled off like five in a row with a straight face and it
was hilarious. I agree with him though. I'm still a little edgy about my 2 missing ice cream sandwiches.

We were discussing the possibility of taking a leak off of the balcony onto the front patio area of Gloria for revenge, but
thought better of it when we realized that not only could we plunge to our deaths, but we could do it with our
pants around our ankles. We made a pact that should one of us fall, we'd tip toe around the scattered teeth and
pull up the other's pants before calling 119--that's 911 for you back home.

alfredprufrockj @ 2006-08-07T05:27:00

2006-08-07T09:23:48Z

Random picture:

This was taken at Comerica park on my brother's birthday in June. The funny thing about this picture is that we were in extra innings. Inge, I think, hit one of the greatest shots you possibly could and we won the game. This was Johanna's reaction to the Tiger's big win:

Europe, anyone?

2006-08-04T15:35:56Z

Everyone in the dorm is becoming restless. We have all received memos stating the following:

"There are currently two available rooms in the Chen-Kung dorm. The location is ideal if you have lots of classes at Chen -Kung, like to go to that part of the city, or frequently take the train/bus as your main method of transportation...etc. The rooms will be assigned according to a first come first serve basis, so please let me know before Friday, August 11th. There will be several new teachers arriving in the fall."

here is the best part...

"If there are no volunteers, the head office will select and ask two teachers to relocate to the Chen-Kung dorm. Thanks and have a great day!"

All 12 of us swear that we won't budge. Many of us were gathered in the living room, discussing. It was as if we were a tiny band of Scots, plotting against the English, spitting with piss and vile and projecting beer bottles into the stone-mantled fire place. The pitch forks and torches were being hastily prepared. I was trying to rile everyone up and talking about leaving in the middle of the night on a flight to Frankfurt.

In the past month, they've moved 5 new people into this dorm. Now that people are situated and know one another, they move them out when they knew all along that they would move them out. Josh maintains that if they try to move him out he will tell them, "Well, I quit." If he does, he has my firm admiration.

I don't know what it is, but I've always hated authority--any form of it. I always love to stir up the dust when it comes to authority. I just can't help it.

cleaning out the closet

2006-07-31T16:22:42Z

North Manitou: Eating Dried Pineapple. June, 2006.

Taiwan

2006-07-30T15:45:45Z

alfredprufrockj @ 2006-07-30T09:26:00

2006-07-30T13:23:38Z

Things are going pretty well here. I had a very tolerable week and have had a decent time. Carson arrives this Friday or Saturday and that means I've been here exactly a month. Time is flying. I've made friends with 2 new American teachers, Josh and Jon. I found out last night that Josh is a Christian and will accompany me to church next week.

Josh, Jon, Darren and I--all Americans--went out to an aboriginal-style bar last night. Before we went out, I was talking about how I wanted to find a shitty dive bar where old men hung out and sulked. We found it. When we walked in, a table of old men raised their opaque bottles of Taiwan Beer and lauded our arrival, giving us the thumbs up smiling. Old guys with rotting, carmine-stained teeth from chewing and spitting beadle nuts. They were hilarious and to top it off, there was a guy playing a yamaha keyboard, complete with electronic accompaniament--very corny. We all agreed that there was something oddly mystical and dreamy--something painfully 1980's--about the experience. I got a huge beer, probably a liter in size, for 4 dollars US. They probably made it in a bathtub in the back.

After that, we went to this trendy lounge-style bar where all of Taoyuan's gangsters hang out late into the night. We split the cost of a hookah and smoked apple scented tobacco and talked. Josh was tore up as hell and kept telling stories. I asked him what kind of tobacco was in the hookah and got a story about how his grandfather's friend's uncle was friends--"like this," he'd say, crossing his middle and index fingers for visual purposes--with the sultan of Saudi Arabia back in the early 80's. I never did find out how the sultan of Saudi Arabia related to apple-scented tobacco.

So money, baby.

2006-07-29T09:21:34Z

My top ten movie list has just been updated:

Swingers moves into 1st place.

That movie is so "money" that I will say no more.

alfredprufrockj @ 2006-07-27T04:53:00

2006-07-27T08:53:00Z

Let me, though, when again I have all around me
the chaos of cities, the tangled
thread of commotion, the blare of the traffic, alone,
let me, above the most dense confusion,
remember this sky and the darkening rim of the valley
where the flock appeared, echoing, on its way home.

Let my courage be like a rock,
let the daily task of the shepherd seem possible to me...
His solemn, unhurried steps, his contemplative body,
his majesty when he stands: even today a god
could secretly enter this form and not be diminished.

...Let him be whomeer you wish. Like a fluttering candle
into a stormlamp, I place myself there inside him.
A glow becomes peaceful. May death
more easily find its way.

alfredprufrockj @ 2006-07-26T11:55:00

2006-07-26T16:00:26Z

The day is over. I had two classes and they both went well. Not great, but good. Some government official showed up just as I was about to go into my 2nd class. A secretary ran up the stairs and was like, "Go to the 5th floor, a government official is here." I don't have my ARC card yet so I am, thus far, an illegal worker. It's a little shady, but that's just how things are done in Taiwan. I'm told that if you own a bar, a business or anything, you have to pay off the mob or they will trash your place every night. I'm told that the majority of the police force is payed off too. That's simply how things are here. So I sat in my room for a half an hour and then got a phone call from the same secretary telling me that it was okay to go to my class. I'm not comfortable with how it's done here, but what can I do about it now?

Anyway, after class I made a stir-fry dinner: tofu, red pepper, onion, broccoli, feta cheese, and carrots--all fried in olive oil and soy sauce. A little too oily, but still good and semi-healthy. I wanted to unwind and do some reading at Starbucks, but they close at 10 pm and were shutting down just as I walked in. It's so funny how cute and kind some natives are here. A girl and guy around my age recognized me from the other night, and they followed me out of the store with huge smiles and kept saying, "Hello, goodbye, we'll see you later." and "I like your new haircut." Haha, I told them I didn't get a hair cut. They are so fun, some of the younger people.

So since they were closed, I just decided to get gas so I wouldn't have to do it tomorrow. I ended up talking with a college student who studied for a year in Boston. He was the manager of the gas station I stopped at. It's funny how people treat you here....like, if you order a pizza, everyone in the back room is going to come out to have a good look at you. They look at you as if you were a talking duck and then they all giggle and slowly meander back to their respective tasks. I wouldn't go so far as to say your a star, but people are really intrigued by you--for good or bad. Old people, especially, nearly break their neck staring at Americans. Earrings and long hair aren't commonplace on men.

The younger people seem to be really curious and if their English were good enough, they'd probably like to talk to you for as long as they were allowed to. I think I'm going to start asking these people if they want to get coffee with me. They're all very nice and I don't feel awkward speaking to total strangers at all anymore. It's kind of fun.

Anyway, this guy at the gas station spoke pretty good English. He told me to park my bike off to the side and we had a good 30 minute discussion about this and that until he had to get back to work. His name was, Cajun, i believe. Like the spice. Real nice guy too.

That about sums up my day and evening. Tomorrow is sweetest day here, so I'll take my students some candy, i think.

Consider the lilies of the field: they neither toil nor spin.

2006-07-26T08:28:09Z

The thoughts of William Stafford:

1.
So, the world happens twice--
once what we see it as;
second it legends itself
deep, the way it is.

2.
...everybody is fleeing like me but some other
direction.
My stride is for life, a far place.
...these journeys are quiet. They mark my days with
adventure
too precious for anyone else to share, little gems
of darkness, the world going by, and my breath,
and the road.

3.
From our snug place we shout
religiously for attention, in order to hide:
only silence or evasion will bring
dangerous notice, the hovering hawk
of the state, or the sudden quiet stare
and fatal estimate of an alerted neighbor.

4. (turn over your hand)
...you have tried to be like somebody else,
and only this fine record you examine
sometimes like this can remember where
you were going before that long
silent evasion that your life became.

5.
...the careless waste of the calendar...

6.
Our mother knew our worth--
not much. To her, success
was not being noticed at all.

7.
World, I am your slow guest,
one of the common things
that move in the sun and have
close, reliable friends
in the earth, in the air, in the rock.